Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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