the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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