Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
