when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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