Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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