We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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