There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
