Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
