so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
