**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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