Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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