i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
