How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
