I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
