If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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