Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
