Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
