he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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