So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
