Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
