ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize