Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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