I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
