So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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