i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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