hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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