Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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