Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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