worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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