Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
