hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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