I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My vagina just clenched in fear
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
