He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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