I can text with my tongue
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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