best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
