haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
