rhymes with "ouble enetration"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
