Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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