Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
