Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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