what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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