U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
