Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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