So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
