Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
