Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Success! We fucked roommates!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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