Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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