She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
