Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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