what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
