She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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