Nicole vs. Life
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize