Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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