Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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