And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
