i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
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