where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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