your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
