i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
