Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
