the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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