Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize