I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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