I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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