Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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