Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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