So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I think my nap took me to another dimension
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize