he thought i was a dude.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize