People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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