Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
When did we convert life to cartoon?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
