My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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