Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
