If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
