hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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